What we can all benefit from: Mindful Parenting
Time for one reset. Mindfulness to the rescueYes, because sometimes a reminder is really necessary. You too with your no-nonsense down-to-earthness. The online training courses Mindful Parenting by Madeline Dijckmeester - or being aware and responsive in your role as a parent, with an eye for yourself - promises to come in handy this year. And no, although the expression practice what you
We like to start easy, with a routine activity – something that people do every day; such as (hopefully) brushing your teeth or showering – and then doing that with full attention. How? Now have a fixed morning ritual. Start by getting up slowly, if possible. What you can certainly fix: keep the phone out of reach and maybe even stare at the not very exciting white ceiling for a minute. Breathe deeply in and out three times. Listen to the sounds that are there. That of the awakening entertainment from the children's rooms. Somewhere far away a snooze button comes to life and is pressed again. Or just the sound of silence, on exceptional days.
And if possible, continue this pattern while showering. The sound of the water splashing down. Feeling the warmth of the drops. Seeing the vapor around you. And if you have gotten out of bed with your fanatical leg, try making and drinking your first cup of tea (or coffee) very consciously. Select tea, turn on the stove, put the teapot under it, put the bag in it. Choose a cup and pour. And then taste it. Basic things. Only takes a few seconds, so you can easily get through the crowd. Good morning.
And then? Then you feel the outcome of what is meant by awareness. But we will continue. Look at your children with the eyes of a beginner. What? The way it is written, it's like seeing the kids for the first time, at times when they don't notice. And then literally look at what you see. Sounds strange, but here too that bit of awareness comes back. What are they doing? Are they concentrated? Flitting around humming? Such. Why? Because we are sometimes so stuck in our ideas about our child, which makes it difficult to see a certain image or behavior from a different perspective. While a child is continuously developing, so does our parent-child relationship. By occasionally looking at the offspring with fresh eyes, you will probably see things that are actually always there, but suddenly stand out.
This is also fun and effective to apply to your partner, because we also get tired of them sometimes. Well.
And the closing: self-compassion for when things escalate at home. When you get out of your depth. When you have barely gotten around to those accumulating working hours and the list of priorities is adjusted for the third time. Anyway. Mildness towards yourself when things turn out differently than planned. Three mental steps on this playing field:
1. Accepted. This moment, now, when it just isn't going to happen. Tomorrow is another day.
2. Let me think – what would I say to a friend at that moment? Or do it for her? And apply that to the situation. Treating yourself to a glass of wine or two also falls under this step.
3. In thoughts high-fiving with other parents. To make outliers is human. Not getting around to things happens to all of us. After all, we are all doing our best.
Sometimes life is so simple, but it's just a matter of going back to the second. Really experiencing what is happening, instead of wanting to move through life at a fast pace.
